The Marriage Counseling Process: This Is How Long It Takes

Did you know that nearly 50% of married couples have been to marriage counseling?

You might think that’s a high number, but it’s understandable considering that relationships are complicated and may do better with an objective outside observer. 

If you are wondering about the marriage counseling process, then you are in the right place. Read on to learn about the benefits of marriage counseling and more.

How Long Does Marriage Counseling Take? 

As with most therapies, marriage therapy is a subjective process that takes a different amount of time, depending on various factors. Two major factors that affect the efficacy of the marriage counseling process are:

The Process

Apparently, couples counseling has a success rate of 70%. There are many types of therapies that are used in the marriage counseling process. This includes Emotionally-focused couples therapy (from the Gottman Method).

Some couples can be done with marriage therapy in as little as 4-6 sessions. Others might require more than 12-16 sessions. 

The main idea here is that you don’t want to spend hours and hours talking about the little details of your marriage that annoy or irk you. It’s about gaining momentum and moving forward in your marriage. 

The Dedication

How dedicated is the couple to the marriage counseling process? This will determine in a big way how long does marriage counseling take.

That’s important because one of the individuals in the couple might be going through the motions because they aren’t interested in being married anymore. If that’s the case, there is no point in doing marriage therapy. 

Benefits of Marriage Counseling

There are many benefits of marriage counseling as you can imagine. There is a reason why hundreds of couples try to find the best marriage therapy for them every week. 

It can help you do the following:

  • Build trust in the relationship
  • Heal trust after an affair
  • Change long-standing patterns in the relationship
  • Grow verbal and nonverbal communication 
  • Grow respect between the couple
  • Solve problems related to responsibilities, finances, or parenting
  • Help with bigger issues such as depression or substance abuse
  • Improve any attachment issues
  • And much more

There are so many ways marriage counseling can help a couple improve and blossom their relationship with each other. Let’s face it – no one ever taught you how to be in a successful long-term relationship. 

Most of us are just winging it. That’s why it’s great to have an objective and experienced observer in the form of a marriage therapist to help with any hidden or apparent issues. 

It’s also extremely useful if one person in the couple is thinking about divorce. Before you go through the strenuous, expensive, and devastating process of divorce, going through marriage counseling is a great idea. 

How You Can Hasten up the Marriage Counseling Process?

There are many ways in which you can help hasten up the marriage counseling process, making it shorter than it needs to be.

There are many couples in marriage counseling who have been going for years and years without any proof of success. You are a busy individual who doesn’t have time to waste on useless marriage therapy. 

Be Committed to the Process and Sessions

The difference between those couples who can gain improvements within 4-6 sessions versus those who go to therapy for years is in their level of commitment. 

Of course, some couples are dealing with issues that are more complicated and that require a lot more time and effort to fix. But that time and effort can be significantly downgraded if you amp up your commitment.

You are going to marriage counseling for a very good reason. Understand your reason, and then commit doubly to your goal of improving your relationship with your partner. 

Also, a couple should go to sessions once a week, rather than once every month or 2 months. Build momentum by staying consistent and being persistent. 

Become an Active Learner in the Process

There are two ways couples deal with the marriage counseling process. The active learners are those who will take homework from the counselor, think about the session while they are at home, and diligently follow through.

The other kind ignores everything the therapist tells them, doesn’t talk about the therapy session at home, and pretends as everything will just fix if they keep paying lip service to the marriage therapist. 

Become an active learner. Don’t leave it all up to your marriage therapist. Play an active role in the recovery of your marriage. Coasting through marriage therapy will result in tepid or lukewarm results. 

Resolve Your Ambivalence About Your Marriage

If you are ambivalent about your marriage, you need to fix that first, before anything else. There is no point in going to a marriage therapist if you don’t even want to be married in the first place.

You are just wasting everyone’s time.

Your ambivalence will create rifts in the relationship that cannot be repaired. In addition, it will mean that you won’t put any effort into the marriage counseling process. 

Find the Best Marriage Therapist for You

You might think that every marriage therapist is as good as the rest. But every couple will have very definite goals that they want to achieve with the marriage counseling process. 

Take your goals into consideration, but also take your marriage therapist’s style and therapy methods into view before choosing the best marriage therapist for you. 

Sometimes the best thing to do is to take some time away from the hustle and bustle of daily life and do a 3-day or 5-day marriage counseling retreat.

If you are located in the New England area, you can schedule a call to book a marriage counseling retreat today with An Affair of the Heart. Don’t delay. Start saving your marriage today!