EFT
Emotionally Focused Therapy
The gold standard of couples therapy and our primary model, built on Sue Johnson's empirically validated science of adult bonding. Ross taught her Hold Me Tight workshops for several years.
More on EFTAn Affair Of The Heart
Heal your relationship with a year of therapy in one week
Private 3 to 5 day couples therapy intensives for couples in crisis. Strengthen your bond, rebuild trust, and find your way forward together.
- Over 40 years of experience
- EFT - EMDR - ImTT
- One couple, one therapist
Why an intensive retreat
This is not a vacation. It is a breakthrough.
Weekly couples therapy can take years to reach the hardest places, if it reaches them at all. An intensive gathers that work into a few focused days of private, one couple, one therapist care, so you can rebuild the trust and connection you have been missing.
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A year of therapy in one week
30 hours of intensive couples therapy across 3 to 5 days: literally a year or more of weekly sessions, condensed.
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Proven methods
EFT, the gold standard of couples therapy, plus trauma resolution techniques like EMDR and ImTT.
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One couple, one therapist
Private intensives, never groups. Individual and couples work with your therapist's full attention.
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Over 40 years of experience
A step-by-step, comprehensive process built on four decades of helping couples rebuild trust and connection.
Certified, trusted, and recognized
The methods
Evidence-based couples therapy, not talk in circles
Three recognized, researched approaches: EFT, the gold standard of couples therapy, with EMDR and ImTT to resolve the old trauma that keeps partners distant.
EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
A trauma resolution modality created by Francine Shapiro. We use it in break-out sessions to rapidly process the old trauma that keeps partners distant and distrusting of one another.
More on EMDR ImTT
Image Transformation Therapy
A powerful trauma resolution protocol Ross studied for over a decade, used alongside EMDR in individual sessions to release the stuck pain and old programming you bring into the relationship.
More on ImTTHow we help
No matter how serious the challenges, your relationship can heal
Whatever your relationship is facing, you do not have to untangle it alone. These are the problems our couples retreats are built to address.
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Contemplating divorce
When resentment and distrust run deep, weekly sessions cannot keep pace. A retreat addresses the core issues now, before divorce becomes the inevitable conclusion.
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Healing after an affair
Our After the Affair protocol gives each partner room to share their story, face the betrayal, and take real steps to rebuild broken trust.
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Emotional & sexual intimacy
Heal the old relationship wounds behind the distance, reestablish trust and intimacy, and learn tools to navigate future issues together.
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Living like roommates
Empty nest, retirement, years of running on autopilot. Rediscover why you chose each other and rekindle the connection you have been missing.
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Mid-life & major life changes
When a crisis of meaning shakes the relationship, a retreat helps you make sense of the confusion and reaffirm your decision to build together.
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Pre-marital & fine tuning
Proactive couples come before small issues become large ones, building the communication skills and tools a lasting marriage needs.
Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.
Peter A. Levine
Beneath the presenting problems
What a couples retreat can reach
Conflict rarely travels alone. Beneath the arguments sit cycles, attachment wounds, and broken trust, and the retreat works on all of them at once.
- The negative cycle
- The dance of disconnection every couple falls into: pursue and demand, withdraw and shut down. You learn to see the cycle as your shared enemy, not your partner.
- Attachment injuries
- Hurts from early life and from the relationship itself shape how safe you feel with each other. The retreat heals attachment wounds from the past and the present.
- Unresolved trauma
- Trauma, broadly defined, drives most presenting problems. Individual sessions process the old programming that keeps you trapped in present patterns.
- Communication breakdown
- Personal attacks, blaming, withdrawal. You learn to communicate about anything, even difficult issues, without triggering and disconnecting.
- Broken trust & betrayal
- Affairs and relationship injuries destroy the safety partners feel. We deal directly with the pain and distrust so trust can be rebuilt.
- Emotional distance
- When affection and emotional responsiveness fade, partners drift into living like roommates. Focused work rekindles passion and renewed connectedness.
What the week looks like
A clear path, walked together
You will always know what comes next. Every step, from free consultation to follow-up, is shaped around your relationship.
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A free consultation
You reach out by form or phone and we talk, with no obligation. Ask every question you have and make sure we are the right fit for you and your partner.
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A plan built for your relationship
We match you with the right therapist and location, take your history and goals, and shape the retreat around what your relationship needs most.
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Your private intensive
Three to five days of focused work, 9 to 5 with breaks: couples sessions woven with individual sessions that process the trauma and old programming keeping you disconnected.
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Tools to carry home
You leave de-escalated, regulated, talking to and trusting each other, with optional online follow-up coaching to support your progress at home.
In their words
Couples who found their way back to each other
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He got us both to see reality, helped us agree to difficult compromises, and together we created a plan which made a hard situation seem workable. Ross was compassionate but talked sense into each of us when necessary. We were both able to relate to him, which made it possible for us to communicate for the first time.
John R. Couples intensive -
I have never met another therapist with such extensive knowledge of the complex dynamics that exist in a relationship. My level of patience, compassion and connection with my partner is better than it has ever been. There is more trust and I finally feel like we are on the same team again.
Chris M. Couples intensive -
He is a genuine, compassionate therapist, someone who makes you feel valued and heard. Down to earth, grounded, warm and intelligent: highly recommended.
B. R. Couples intensive -
With other therapists, I have often felt as if I was running in place. Ross gets things moving. He is extremely intuitive and has introduced me to EMDR, which is one of the most successful tools I have ever used in therapy.
Eric B. EMDR -
Sage has the remarkable ability to acknowledge all the emotions in the room, to validate one person without criticizing the other. We were each able to feel heard, and now can hear each other. I am sorry we waited so long to do it, but grateful we are where we are now.
Verified couple EFT -
What makes her special is her ability to hold each person's heart both separate and as a couple. She gives each person a voice, holds you accountable in a loving way and gently guides you to a safer, healthier place.
Verified couple EFT -
The difference in our marriage is amazing. We now refer to the time when our marriage had issues as pre-Sage. Never critical, always encouraging, but amazingly perceptive, she misses nothing.
Verified couple EFT -
I cannot begin to thank you enough for all the help you have given to me. I feel so much better and lighter. You are very good at what you do.
C. Thompson Individual intensive
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Recovery can take place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation.
Judith Herman, M.D.
Where we meet
Calm, private settings on both coasts
Each retreat happens somewhere quiet and unhurried, chosen so you can focus entirely on the work and on each other.
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Northampton
Massachusetts
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Providence
Rhode Island
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Auburn
California
Who you will work with
Steady, experienced guides for the hardest work
An Affair Of The Heart was founded by Ross Hackerson, who brings more than forty years of experience with couples, individuals, and families to this work. You are matched with the therapist and location that fit your relationship, with their full, undivided attention for your entire retreat.
Drawing on Emotionally Focused Therapy, EMDR, ART, and Image Transformation Therapy.
Meet the teamPricing & questions
Clear answers, no surprises
Honest pricing and straight answers, so the only thing left to decide is whether you are both ready.
$4,200 per day, couples
$2,400 per day, individuals
Retreats run 3 to 5 days, up to 6 hours per day with a 60-minute lunch break. Pricing does not include meals or accommodations, and insurance is not accepted.
How much does a couples retreat cost?
Couples retreats are $4,200 per day and individual intensives are $2,400 per day. Pricing does not include meals or accommodations, and we offer a free, no-obligation consultation before you commit.
How long is a retreat?
Retreats last 3 to 5 days depending on your needs, with up to 6 hours of work per day, a 60-minute lunch break, and additional breaks as needed. They are available year round, and we ideally start earlier in the week so you can enjoy your weekend.
Do you accept insurance?
Most likely our intensive couples retreats are not covered by your insurance. We are not affiliated with any HMOs or PPOs and do not accept payments from insurance companies. We recommend checking what mental and behavioral health services your policy covers.
Why an intensive retreat instead of weekly sessions?
Because you make more progress, sooner. A retreat offers change, connection, and healing in days rather than the months or years weekly hour-long sessions require. You work from 9 to 5 each day with your therapist's full attention, with no time lost catching up or shutting down a session.
How can I justify the cost of a retreat?
Consider the alternative. The average divorce without children costs $10,100 and takes 11 months; with children it costs $15,500 and takes 15 months, and the emotional impact on children runs deeper still. Viewed in that light, a retreat is an opportunity to rescue your family and your most important relationship.
What kinds of problems can be solved in a retreat?
We have worked with couples facing all sorts of problems, contemplating divorce, recovering from an affair, intimacy struggles, empty nest distance, mid-life upheaval, and pre-marital tuning, and found that all can be healed, provided both partners are motivated to do the work.
Is there anything a retreat cannot solve?
Three issues we call the Three A's make it impossible to move forward: abuse, active addiction, and an active affair. Each destroys the foundation of trust this work depends on. The affair must be ended, and active addiction supported through detox or substance abuse counseling, before a retreat can help.
What results can we expect?
You will eliminate patterns of interaction that do not work, identify the negative cycle your relationship is stuck in, learn positive communication skills, gain tools to address negative feelings, and build a foundation of trust with your partner.
Is your approach researched and documented?
Yes. Our retreats are based on the science of healthy bonding in adult relationships described by Sue Johnson, originator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, in her book Hold Me Tight: a systematic, empirically validated theory of adult bonding whose benefits persist long after you return home.
What happens after the retreat?
We are happy to provide online follow-up coaching to help you integrate the tools and changes you acquired and support your progress moving forward. We also recommend you have an ongoing therapist at home. To book, reach out by the contact form or phone and we will schedule dates that work for you.
Take the first step
You do not have to figure this out alone
Leave behind the resentment, distance, and distrust, and find your way back to each other. The conversation is private, unhurried, and free.
Reach out
Speak to a therapist
A free, private conversation. Ask anything, share as much or as little as you like, and find out whether a retreat is right for you and your partner. No pressure, no commitment.
413-210-3739 info@anaffairoftheheart.us