There’s a lot of talk about finding ways to stay as a couple forever. However, what if you can’t find those ways? Is divorce the only option, as in the case of 40-50% of marriages in the U.S.?
Here’s where marriage counseling comes into play. Sometimes, all a couple needs are access to the right tools to save their marriage.
The right therapist should be able to help you work through your issues and find more options. How do you go about finding a couples therapist that’s right for you? Keep on reading to learn how you can find the best.
1. Research Couple Therapists Near You
The first step would be to go online and look for couples therapists near you. Some websites have a list of licensed therapists; those are a good place to start.
You may also ask friends or co-workers if they have recommendations. Therapists wouldn’t divulge details about your personal life. Regardless, you don’t have to go for their suggestion if you’re not comfortable.
It’s best to find a therapist near where you live or work. Convenience is a big factor because it can be a huge motivator for both parties. If both can’t find the time and energy to go to a far therapist, then there’s no point in getting one.
However, don’t choose a therapist based on convenience alone. This is an important decision that can make or break your relationship. As such, it’s worth exploring the other options to find the best one.
Aside from that, there are more things you should check to make sure you only get a qualified therapist. Not everyone who says they’re a couples therapist is a good choice.
2. Find a Therapist with Proper Training
Beware of therapists offering couples counseling services without the proper training and certification. Not all therapists have the right knowledge to deal with a couple’s issues. Most of the time, they’ll only make the problems worse.
They don’t know what they don’t know, so they’ll try to employ techniques that aren’t for couples. Couples therapy and individual therapy are worlds apart. However, individual therapists offering their services to couples might not know that.
As a result, they’ll end up using techniques that aren’t for couples. They won’t solve any issues that way. This will only disrupt your chances of fixing things in the relationship.
Keep this in mind when you’re choosing a couples therapist. Always check if they have had training and supervision in couples therapy approaches. Many of them are also Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT).
3. Consider the Style of the Therapist
Even couples therapy has different variations. However, we can’t say there’s a singular approach that’s the best for everyone. What we recommend is looking for a therapist experienced in evidence-based methods.
Some of these methods include EFT and The Gottman Method. Emotionally-Focused Therapy is all about reconnecting couples. A therapist may help you repair trust, find love again, increase intimacy, and so on. The Gottman Method focuses on teaching skills for more effective communication.
Many therapists draw upon these two methods in the counseling process. In this case, you’ll learn how to have a healthy relationship while re-building it.
This is not to say that other methods are ineffective. Couples therapy techniques can also cover the following:
- The Psychobiological Approach of Couples Therapy (PACT)
- Discernment Counseling, and
- The Development Model of Couples Therapy
Before choosing a therapist based on approach, you must consider what you would want to work on first. Pinpoint the problems in your relationship. Then, research what kind of method would work on those issues.
Of course, you can always talk to the therapists themselves. Some of them offer a free consultation, or you can always ask by contacting them.
4. Interview the Therapist
It’s best to interview a therapist first before you commit to their service. We’ve talked about how convenience is essential. However, finding a couples therapist you’re both comfortable with is even more important.
You can book sessions with the best therapist in the world, but there’s a chance they won’t be able to help you. Why? Because you, your partner, or both of you may not connect with them.
There’s nothing wrong with getting a feel of the therapist before you start booking sessions. It’s only wrong if you still decide to commit to that therapist even if you don’t like them.
If you’re not comfortable with a therapist, it will be hard for you to open up to them. Discussing your issues, emotions, and concerns won’t be easy.
In turn, it won’t be easy for the therapist to help you. Not all therapists may be able to provide constructive advice for all couples.
Take advantage of free consultations to see if you click with them. You should feel that they can understand you. Only then will they be able to help you understand more about yourself and your relationship.
Take this chance to ask the therapist some important questions. Ask about the structure of their sessions, their assessment process, and such. It’s also a good time to ask about the couples therapist cost.
Then, ask them about what they think about divorce and relationships in general. Their beliefs and philosophy will impact the success of your couples’ therapy. They must align with your values to help you move toward your goals as a couple.
Get Help Finding a Couples Therapist
If you want your marriage to succeed, you must succeed first in finding a couples therapist. With the many factors we mentioned above, it’s not going to be easy. However, couples’ therapy is a great first step to a healthier marriage.
Nonetheless, the hardships are worth it if you get to make your marriage work for the both of you in the end. Let us help you further; contact us today, and let’s discuss what we can do for you.