Divorce is not the answer to every marriage problem. There’s an 18% decline in the divorce rate in the US today. Data shows that more and more couples are finding ways to stick together through thick and thin. No marriage is perfect. The obstacles that every relationship meet along the way are what make it stronger. These words may sound to be cliché, but it’s a truism that applies to every couple. Are you willing to save your marriage?
If things are so out of hand already, going through couples therapy is your best option. However, you can try these tips as well. Here’s a list of relationship advice that can help prevent divorce.
1. It Starts With You
Saving a marriage starts with your mindset. Thinking about changes you should have done sooner will only cause you more regret.
This phase of your relationship is critical. Stop thinking about your partner and focus on yourself. Anger will only make you focus on the negative things instead of trying to make improvements.
Stop blaming your partner, but don’t blame yourself as well. Begin focusing on your own desires and how you would like to see the relationship. Starting with a healthier mindset will set you up for success.
2. Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner
Do you think you have the responsibility to fix your husband or wife? You may try to justify that changing them is your way of caring. However, it could end up aggravating the whole situation.
Being fixated on your partner’s wrong ways is the same as blaming them all the time. You tend to reach a “holier than thou” level, separating you from each other.
When you keep on blaming your partner, you become the victim. You can stop the vicious cycle by working things out with them instead. Be a teammate instead of a spouse who’s always looking for something to “fix.”
3. You Don’t Always Have To Be Right
It hurts to see your partner insisting that they’re right. However, it also hurts them that you keep asserting the same position. Start the change in you by letting go of your need to be always right.
During arguments, try these words: “Yes, you’re right. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction.” Most of the time, these words have the power to stop an argument dead in its tracks.
4. Commitment Does Not Mean Competition
As years go by, your marriage may start to become a competitive game of who’s better. You might think, “I have a better position in the company” or “I earn more than you.”
Remember that you entered your sacred bond not to compete but to stay connected. Consider you and your partner as a single entity. This can make competitions non-existent in your relationship.
Be happy that your partner is better at cooking. Appreciate how you’re better at organizing your closet. In a healthy marriage relationship, there are no winners and losers.
5. Learn to Let Go
Learning to let go can be hard to apply, but it’s the most beneficial. It’ll release you from the shackles of the past you don’t want. Letting go allows you to break down the wall between you and your partner.
Some people found great success in letting go by meditating daily. Make it a habit to empty your mind of past grudges and future worries, even for only 15 minutes a day. It can help you start focusing on the present.
6. Use the Power of Lists
Most couples think that a divorce is a way to end all the bickering once and for all. However, it also ends the relationship you both vowed to nurture on your wedding day.
Draw out your deep-rooted loving feelings and create a list of things that you love about each other. Take a trip down memory lane and list down the things that made you fall in love in the first place.
7. Transform the Triple A’s
Addictions, affairs, and excessive anger can destroy even the healthiest of marriages. Any involvement in these is self-defeating. You can transform these triple A’s instead: appreciation, attentiveness, and allowing.
Learn to be grateful for the simple things that you do for each other. Be attentive to what you and your spouse need. Stop forcing your beliefs on each other and learn to allow your differences.
8. Get Rid of Negativity
No marriage is without an argument. Frequent criticisms, sarcasm, and snide remarks can destroy a relationship.
While words can get out of hand in the heat of emotions, you can disempower these if you give each other more positive interactions.
Stop keeping tabs about the number of positive and negative interactions. Exit an argument as soon as you feel it escalating to an unhealthy level. Excuse yourself from the conversation and calm yourself down.
Lessen the negative muck, and you’ll have more room for healthy, positive conversations.
9. Pamper Each Other with Positivity
When making a commitment to save your relationship, always send out positivity.
Smile to each other often and be more appreciative of the little things that you do. Find time to hug more, laugh together, and agree on trivial kinds of stuff.
These small things are powerful enough to rekindle your love for each other.
10. Reconnect with Your Initial Passion
What made you say “yes” in the first place? Was it because you have the same interests? Try to reconnect with these acts that made you fall in love deeper with each other before marriage.
If you both love to watch movies, consider finding some time to do it together at least once a week.
You can have an actual trip down memory lane. It can be where you had your first date or the place where you first met. These can help end thoughts of divorce.
Save Your Marriage and Improve Your Relationship
Do these ten steps to save your marriage. As you apply them, more ideas will start coming to you.
Do you want to jumpstart your marriage therapy? Contact us today, and we’ll help bring your relationship back on track.