People love to say that 50% of marriages end in divorce as if they’re a coin-flip. A deeper dive into the US statistics paint a different picture. Recent data shows 14.9 divorces for every 1,000 marriages.
This statistic doesn’t mean more people are now living happily ever after. No matter the data, a high number of divorces still occur. If you’re about to exchange vows, you may wonder what are the reasons people get divorced.
How do you go about avoiding divorce? Read on to learn the top reasons people get divorced to prevent an unhappy ending.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
The early days of any relationship are intoxicating, and it turns out there’s scientific data to explain why. A new lover releases high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, the same chemicals related to initial attraction.
Couples in the early stages of a relationship experience high releases of these chemicals. It’s why sex feels so exciting, steamy, and spontaneous.
As couples stay together and patterns develop, that initial spark fades. Society programs couples to expect this. The lack of physical intimacy is a trade-off for stability.
Recent studies estimate that 39% of marriages devolve into “dead bedroom” marriages with sexual droughts that last upwards of a year.
So why, then, do so many couples divorce over a lack of physical intimacy? Because a lack of touch and sex leads to a disconnect that causes or exacerbates other relationship issues.
Insufficient Communication Skills
Too many people get married without the tools necessary to maintain a lifelong partnership. Exchanging vows is not enough to keep a relationship together.
Why do people get divorced? They don’t have productive communication skills, and they enter into a long-term commitment without developing them. Problems don’t go away on their own.
What happens when two partners aren’t able to work through their issues in a positive and productive way?
- Resentment builds
- Persistent issues become big problems
- Pent up emotions burst into arguments
- Passive-aggressive comments chip away at the foundation of a relationship
Lack of communication, unproductive arguments, and evasion signify problems lurking under the surface. Years of this behavior cause irreparable damage.
Lack of Love
People fall out of love, but the process isn’t as simple as one day waking up and realizing it. Most married couples in a loveless marriage don’t have intentions to fall out of love.
Often, couples grow apart due to changing relationship goals. One person wants children, and the other doesn’t. Resentment builds to a breaking point.
Once you feel yourself falling out of love, it’s best to take your time and judge your feelings. A fall from love could signify deeper issues that relationship counseling may help solve.
Dropped Partnership
Marriage is meant to be a partnership where both parties carry the load. Building a life together is a constant process. When one partner opts out, the other feels as though they are alone.
Being alone while you’re alone is one thing, but there’s no more lonely feeling than being in a long-term relationship where one person opts out.
Emotional Labor
The worst part? Most people who drop their responsibilities don’t consciously realize they’ve done it. Women carry an incredible amount of emotional labor in relationships that men ignore.
What is emotional labor? Women in marriages often serve as a household’s project manager. It’s unpaid work and exhausting. Men are conditioned by society to allow this and not think about it.
Wives become perceived as nags, a perception none of them want. It’s exhausting to ask men to perform tasks constantly, and men who don’t pick up their part of the emotional labor aren’t participants.
Affairs
If you’re interested in preventing divorce, you shouldn’t have an affair. It’s one of the top reasons people dissolve their marriages.
Why do people cheat? The complicated answer is it often involves a number of the divorce reasons listed. Lack of communication, lack of physical intimacy, and a high burden of emotional labor all contribute.
There are divides between men and women when it comes to infidelity. Most men cheat due to a lack of physical intimacy and insecurity. Women cheat to fill an emotional void.
An affair doesn’t mean the end of a marriage, but it is a signal of severe underlying issues.
Not Ready
People these days delay marriages, with most waiting to tie the knot until their late 20s. Data shows millennials are staying in relationships an average of 4.9 years before marrying.
Why is that? Saddled with debt and fearing divorce, the millennial generation wants to be sure of their choice for a life partner. They also want to make sure they’re ready.
Many couples jump into marriages unprepared. Those who marry too young or too soon often grow apart. Unable to establish a solid partnership or resentful of a life not lived, they split apart.
Reasons Not to Get Divorced
Divorce might seem like the only option in an unhappy relationship. Depending on your situation, especially if there’s abuse or addiction, you might not be able to salvage your marriage.
Without those factors, there are good reasons to reconsider.
- Divorces can be expensive
- They’re hard on your children
- They cause a lot of psychological turmoil
- You’ll regret not fighting for your relationship
A marriage in trouble doesn’t mean divorce. If you and your partner are willing to put in the work, marriage counseling has shown success in saving periled relationships.
Avoid the Reasons People Get Divorced
Marriage is a lifetime partnership, and nobody enters into one expecting it to end. Yet, so many people still seek divorce every year.
Lack of communication, physical intimacy, and labor equality are all reasons people get divorced.
Don’t let it happen to you. If you sense trouble in your marriage, don’t blow it off. Contact us today for help finding the right counselor.