8 Tips for Couples on Achieving a Better Sex Life

Are you looking to spice up your married sex life?

There are many different ways to boost your marriage, including better sex. While physical intimacy isn’t the only foundation of your relationship, it’s a key part.

It’s a way to reaffirm your bond and connect on an emotional level. But due to the busy nature of married life, especially when kids come along, it can often fall by the wayside.

Don’t worry, we’ve got your back! Read on for these 8 tips on how to achieve a better sex life with your partner and get that spark back.

1. Be Clear What You Want

When it comes to improving your sex life, communication is king. Talk to your spouse or partner about your needs in the relationship. Good, honest communication will build trust, and strengthen the bond that’ keeping you together.

If your partner isn’t pleasing you, show them how to. It might be awkward at first, but if they don’t know what you like or how you like it, they can’t fulfill those needs. And vice versa, be open to any direction your partner gives you.

2. Try Out New Positions

This might seem a bit cliche but you should try different sexual positions. Check out the Kama Sutra for example, with a wide variety of positions and how-to guides.

And if that’s not your thing, you can find inspiration elsewhere. If both of you are open to it, you can watch porn together for new ideas. It can also help you learn what turns each other on.

If that’s a little too much for your tastes, try reading erotica for couples together or even a good old “sexting” session. Tell each other what you want to do when you get home to get the blood pumping and the heart pounding for when you can finally be alone together.

Google also has plenty of articles on new sex positions to try. Experimenting can help add a little fun and interest to the bedroom.

3. Do Your Part

You can’t expect your partner to do all the work in the bedroom. Make sure you’re in tune with your own sexuality, so you can relay this to your significant other.

It’s also important that you get yourself aroused when you’re being intimate. Even if your partner is the sexiest person you’ve ever, they can’t always turn you on or pleasure alone.

Help out once in a while, and it’s a turn-on when you know what you want. Plus, your partner will be glad of any tips you can give them, as they only want to make you feel good during sex.

4. Consider Scheduling Intimate Nights

Once life gets too busy, sex and intimacy are usually the first things to disappear. When you’re stressed and have a huge to-do list it can be hard to feel sexy or get in the mood.

But if you ignore intimacy and sex during stressful times, you could cause damage. It’s important that both you and your partner feel that intimate connection. Even if you feel like you don’t have time for anything else in your busy schedule.

Scheduling sex nights with your partner is a way to make sure your sex life isn’t neglected. A large part of sex is the build-up, and how you feel after. Use this to your advantage by scheduling in advance.

You can plan a little staycation at times, where you can focus on each other distraction-free. Book a hotel, an AirB&B, or even a camping trip to a secluded, breathtaking spot.

5. Get Out of the Bedroom

While it’s helpful to have some intimate time scheduled, don’t forget spontaneity. You won’t always be able to control when you get your sexual urges.

It doesn’t need to stay in that romantic bedroom setting either. Making the most of your sex drive as and when it happens can lead to much better sex. From the shower, couches, countertops, it’s a way to add some spice back into your sex life.

You don’t need to take it out of your house but have fun. Stay discrete and get creative, it’ll surprise you how much better the sex can be when your physical intimacy is spontaneous.

6. Intimacy Before Sex

Even if the goal is to have more sex, you shouldn’t pour all your energy into that alone. Focusing on sex alone can be intimidating and overwhelming. Especially if either of you has performance anxiety or nerves.

Instead, work out building intimacy. To do this, take a sex break and focus only on hugging and kissing. This will build up your physical intimacy without the pressure of sex as usual.

You can also use non-sexual touch-related activities to bond further. Things like giving each other massages, or simply stroking each other. It boosts your emotional connection, leading to better, more intimate, and connected sex.

7. Savour the Foreplay

Quickies are great, but that shouldn’t make up all your sexual encounters. After all, good foreplay can be as much fun as sex itself. Extending foreplay will build anticipation, and can make it more enjoyable.

It’s fun whether you’re the one giving or getting the pleasure. It’s also a way to increase the intimacy between you and your partner. Incorporate touching, kissing and most of all take your time.

Explore each other’s bodies and play with each other. Sex isn’t about passion 24/7, you can add in a little teasing and gentleness too. Be creative, see how long both of you can handle the pleasure, and think of sex as the bonus round.

8. Mutual Touching

Most of the time, it’s true that you’ll know how to pleasure yourself the best. Masturbating is a healthy habit to keep, in or out of a relationship. It boosts endorphins and gives a sexual and emotional release vital to wellbeing.

It’s how you get to know your body and its likes and dislikes. To help you convey that to your partner it can be stimulating to masturbate together. You’re playing your part in arousing yourself, but also showing your partner how to please you.

It might seem daunting and embarrassing at first, but give it a try. It will do wonders for your communication and intimacy levels.

Achieving a Better Sex Life the Easy Way

So, there you have it! Achieving a better sex life doesn’t have to be hard if you and your partner follow these tips.

Open, honest communication is the place to start as well as knowing what you want. If you don’t know how to please yourself, how can you expect your partner to know? Be open-minded and try new things, from positions to places. Make time for each other. The more intimacy between you, the better the sex will be.

If you’re struggling to find your relationship rhythm again, contact us today. At An Affair of the Heart, we’ve got over 40 years of experience to help heal your relationship and get you connected again.