4 Questions to Ask Before Choosing a Marriage Therapist

Is your marriage on a rocky slope? What seemed like a match made in heaven is starting to look more like a world-ending disaster. Further still, there’s a good chance that your partner may be thinking the same. However, you don’t want to give up on the marriage just yet. You don’t want to deal with the stresses of divorce, and more importantly, you believe there’s still a chance to turn things around. If only there was a trusted way you knew of to make it happen. If this is how you’re feeling about your marriage, then you’ll want to look into a marriage therapist.

These specialists exist to help people like you understand and heal with their significant other so you can save the relationship.

That said, you’ll want to make sure you get the best couples therapist for your needs—and that means asking the right questions. Read on to find out what you need to ask a therapist before making them the counselor of your choice.

1. What’s Your Level of Experience as a Marriage Therapist?

This may seem like a strange or even unnecessary question to ask someone who’s licensed to help with therapy? After all, whatever experience they have is clearly more than your own, correct?

In reality, it’s much more complicated than that. For starters, just because someone is licensed doesn’t always mean they’re qualified for working on couples counseling.

In fact, anyone licensed as a psychotherapist is legally allowed to practice as a couples counselor as well. This means that a practitioner whose strong point is substance abuse cases can also state that they work on couples therapy.

Furthermore, even if the licensed practitioner does work as a marriage therapist, they may have limited experience to go on. The experience level of the therapist you choose could mean the difference between a saved marriage and a divorce.

With all of this in mind, you’ll want to make sure you look into what your therapist actually specializes in, as well as how many years of experience that therapist has.

2. Does the Therapist Share Your Values?

Even though all marriage counselors make it their job to help couples heal their relationship, they will go about accomplishing this in different manners. You’ll want to make sure they share values that align with our own thoughts and beliefs.

Think about it this way. Your marriage is strained more than likely because you and your spouse couldn’t see eye to eye on different ideas. Adding a therapist into the equation that also doesn’t agree with your thoughts only serves to add more fuel to the flames.

Make sure you look into how your potential therapist approaches their marriage counseling and compare them to your own. Are you and your partner religious?

Do you take a more modern approach through feminism? Or are you more of a humanitarian?

When you and your therapist are already on the same page, you know they’ll be able to respect your thinking and your boundaries and can help you find a solution that best works for you.

3. What Sort of Strategies Do They Use?

This is one of the most important marriage counseling questions to ask. If your therapist is trying to act more like your close friend than your advisor, then you might have the wrong consular.

Even though the media showcases therapists who try to be amicable with their clients, the reality is that they have to be empathetic but professional. This allows them to understand the situation while allowing them to create a clear path to a resolution.

Talk to your potential therapist and find out how they approach their treatments. What sort of module does he or she use? How do they direct the session and move spouses to their relationship goals?

The most important thing is that therapists should be able to push you toward making better lifestyle changes. If your counselor doesn’t challenge you to tackle bad behaviors and become a better person, they’re likely not who you want to help you through the challenges of your marriage.

4. What Percentage of Couples Don’t Improve?

Of course, the sad reality is that not every couple who receives counseling services goes on to successfully heal their marriage. In fact, some spouses separate or divorce before their therapy sessions are complete.

Even with that being the case, your goal is to find a therapist who can give you the best chance possible of staying together. Make sure they have what it takes to do the job right by asking about their percentage ratio.

If the therapist says they’ve saved 100 percent of their couples, then they’re either very new to the job or they’re being dishonest to save face. If they give you a low number or say that numbers don’t matter, they may not be as good as they claim at their job.

The average percent of couples that a marriage therapist keeps together is 70 percent. If your counselor gives this number or better, then there’s a great chance they have what it takes to help you save your marriage.

We’re Here to Help

Now that you know the right questions to ask a marriage therapist, you’ll want to start looking around to find the best one for your needs. We think that the best place for you to start is right here.

An Affair of the Heart is an intensive couples retreat that’s dedicated to helping couples rekindle their spirit and restore the love they lost. We offer both three-day and five-day retreat options to make sure our couples get all of the help and nurturing they need.

Does an intensive couples retreat sound like something you could benefit from? Then feel free to take a look around our site to find out more, or reach out to us if you have any questions. Let’s work together to ignite your marriage!