While a single year produces over 782,000 American divorces, this isn’t something to be taken lightly. Divorce is a serious decision that can usually be prevented if both parties are willing to put the effort in to do so. You don’t want to lose the person that you’ve chosen to spend your life with if you can help it, so read on to learn how to prevent divorce and get your relationship back on track.
Talk Things Through Independently
The first step towards resolving your issues is to attempt to communicate on your own. This shouldn’t be done in lieu of therapy, but rather as a precursor to it. Try to discuss the specific issues in your marriage that are causing you to consider divorce. It’s possible that you have a simple miscommunication or misunderstanding at play.
However, determining your problems and resolving them alone is far easier said than done. The point of your individual discussion should be to commit to therapy and select a professional that looks right for your relationship. Discuss retreats and their many benefits and do some research online as to how they can help heal your marriage.
Write Letters For Each Other
Sometimes talking things through can be an insurmountable challenge. If you’re both heated and saying things that you don’t mean, you’re going to have a difficult time seeing the other person’s position. This can actually make your relationship worse because your partner will think that you’re unwilling to listen and try to place yourself in their shoes.
Writing a letter that your spouse can read at any time ensures that they will listen to everything you need to say. They won’t interrupt you before you can finish because everything will be on the page. This ensures that both of you can present your points without being judged, interrupted, stopped, or yelled at.
You also will be able to consider your words more carefully when writing them down than you would if you were just talking. This ensures that you mean everything you say and that each word is carefully planned out. Because you likely won’t be there for each other’s initial reaction, you also will be able to talk after you cool down and can have a rational conversation.
Agree to See a Couple’s Therapist
A couple’s therapist acts as a mediator to help you talk about the issues that your marriage is facing. Many couples have difficulty communicating even the most basic of issues that they’re having with one another, which is one of the reasons that spouses turn on each other and relationships fail. A therapist can facilitate basic discussions to ensure that both parties can get their point across productively.
Therapists will help you to get to the root of your problems and tackle them head-on. They will help you to set realistic goals and timeframes in which they can be accomplished. For example, a therapist may help you to set the goal of falling back in love by providing you with incremental steps towards that achievement.
You’ll have the opportunity to assess and reassess your goals and whether or not your methods towards attaining them are working. During the course of these sessions, you will also learn new skills that will help you to improve your relationship. Communication skills are one of the most basic, but you also will learn about stress management, trust, honesty, selflessness, and more.
Take a Retreat Together
One of the best ways that you can get therapy is by taking a couple’s retreat together to a therapeutic environment. We’re not talking about a Hawaiian vacation (though that can boost your relationship, too). We’re talking about retreats specifically intended to boost the trust and honesty in your relationships.
These retreats aren’t vacations, but rather are filled with activities that are designed to put you more in touch with your emotions. Activities include both individual and couple’s therapy sessions (primarily the latter as there will only be one-on-one time with the therapist for the first three days). The things you do during these sessions are meant to build connection and trust with your spouse and ultimately help you to resolve the issues and barriers in your relationship.
Retreats are held in Northampton, Massachusetts, a gorgeous town where you’re sure to get in the right mindset for personal success. Each couple is allowed to choose their own Airbnb retreat space so that they can spend quality time together in the perfect environment for their needs. Since sessions end at 4:30 each day, there will be a lot of much-needed one-on-one time with your partner.
Focus on Your Relationship
Therapy is an important step towards saving your marriage, but it won’t help unless you take independent steps to better your relationship. Many couples struggle because other priorities begin to take precedence over their marriage. Don’t let this be yet another problem for your already-struggling relationship.
Agree to have a date night once a week. Avoid using your phones and go out to dinner at a favorite restaurant. Take a walk through a park or on a stretch of beach or curl up alone together and watch a movie.
Remind yourselves of why you got married in the first place by reigniting both the spark and comfort that were once in your relationship.
More on How to Prevent Divorce
While divorce is the correct option in situations of abuse, it isn’t something to be done lightly in other scenarios. There’s a reason that you and your partner fell in love and committed to one another, and refocusing on your relationship in therapy is a much better alternative to terminating your marriage.
Now that you know how to prevent divorce, it’s time to begin healing your connection. Schedule a call with our experts and get an initial consultation for couples therapy. We’re here to listen to your individual issues and help you tackle them together.